so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
