Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
