check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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