Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
