i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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