See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
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I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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