he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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