Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
