dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
