i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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