I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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