She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
MIDGETS
????
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
