loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize