You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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