Little spoons don't ask big questions
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
