Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
