dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He? As in you personified your dick?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
