So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
