ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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