Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
