im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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