before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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