Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just had sex on a roof
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
