I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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