Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
