Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
