Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
They took my balls.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
