but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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