I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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