so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The struggles of a small town man whore
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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