i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
