you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
