I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize