I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
