The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
