do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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