You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
