When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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