Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
