I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
