it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
