mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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