When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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