I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize