we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
