He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We're too hungover to prance.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
