Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
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