he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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