so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
