you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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