I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
