worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
