In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
