how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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