Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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