I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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