Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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